Friday B-Movie Pick: Halloween Classics
Next Wednesday is Halloween, so we’re going with the classics:
An American Werewolf in London
Friday B-Movie Pick: Terminal Invasion
Bruce Campbell in all his B-Movie glory! Filmed in Canada back in 2002, this low budget beauty co-stars the former ST:DS9 Dabo girl, Chase masterson as the plucky pilot. All the action takes place in a small airport terminal, were a group of hostile aliens are trying to kill everyone.
Friday B-Movie Pick: Sharpe’s Challenge
After a long break from the Sharpe series of movies, Sean Bean returns to the role of Richard Sharpe. This time he has to travel to India to save his ex-NCO, played by Daragh O’Malley. They had the budget to actually film this in India, so ya, really nice location shots, and a beautiful Indian actress to play the femme fatale. A good solid action flick set in the hayday of the British Empire. It stands alone well, but you may want to watch the entire series before watching this. I did, and it was time well spent. After watching these, you will know how to fire three rounds a minute from a musket!
Friday B-Movie Pick: Terminator 2: Judegment Day
Arnold Schwarzenegger came back. This was a well done sequel that expands on the original. This 1991 (yes, it is old enough to order its own booze) movie had ground breaking special effects. It was also a good vehicle for Linda Hamilton as Sarah Connor. She went through extensive training, including advanced weapons handling, to prepare for the role. Robert Patrick became a SciFi icon as the T-1000 Terminator. The movie is also noted for its use of identical twins to portray both the character and the T-1000 imitating the character. One of the pairs of identical twins was Linda Hamilton and her sister, who is a nurse.
Friday B-Movie Pick: This is Spinal Tap
Set the Wayback Machine to 1984 for this classic Rock mockumenary. Rob “Meathead” Reiner was the actual directory as the fictional director in this film about the back stage antics of the Heavy Metal Hair band, Spinal Tap. A cult comedy classic complete with a string of drummers that die of various means, including re-accuring spontainous combustion. My favorite was the one who choked to death on vomit, but not his own. Who produced the vomit remains shrouded in mystery.
The fellow who played Spinal Tap will appear again, and again, in other mockumenaries, Best in Show and A Mighty Wind, for example.
Friday B-Movie Pick: Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
This second outing in the Ghost Rider francise is B-Movie making at it’s B grade average. Shot in Eastern Europe, primarily to keep the costs down, but it also gave some great location shots. Nicholas Cage turned the crazy up a few notches in his deliverance of the cursed and soul tortured Johnny Blaze. The level of bad guy was turned up a few notches as well. Ciaran Hinds can play the bad guy quite well. An OK movie for a rental at home with popcorn and bourbon.
Friday B-Movie Pick: The Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption
The Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption
This turkey could fly about as well as the one the WKRP staff had shoved out of helicopter. The “name” actors in this were Ron Perlman and Billy Zane. I can only hope they did this because they needed the money for their kids’ braces. Bad script, bad acting, low budget, all the elements of a hack B-Movie are here. The one plus is that they shot in Thailand, so they got the elephants cheap. Just how a the main character and his Germananic barbarian sidekick made from the desert to Thailand is kinda glossed over. Don’t ask how the Roman soldiers , with the overly long swords, made it there either. Really, that is easier to buy into than the Forest Ninja. Yes, I said Forest Ninja. Really, by this point in the film, you’ve given up on any hope of good movie and are along for the ride.They don’t explain why the Book of the Dead was in Thailand either. There are worse movies you could watch, like Cyberjack, but really, do yourself a favor and rewatch old epiodes of UFO, Firefly or Babylon 5. I’m not kidding here, Leonard Pinth-Garnell could do a special on this flick.
Friday B-Movie Pick:Colombiana
Executive Summary: Lt. Uhura kills a lot of Columbian drug gang members, and a lot of other people. Ok, it’s Zoe Saldana, played Lt. Uhura in the last Star Trek movie. She plays the daughter of a ‘wet work’ specialist for a Columbian drug lord. There is a falling out and the drug lord has her parents killed. Of course they get shot to doll rags right in front of her. She escapes, makes her way from Columbia to Chicago. There she finds her maternal uncle, who takes a break from beating a man tied to a chair for touching reunion with niece. Now flash foward and the kid is now an adult and an experienced assassin. She gets herself arrested, so she will be in the same jail as her next target. She changes into a catsuit, slips out of her cell, kills the target, slips back into her cell and is released before the feds lock the jail down. Yes, she is that bad ass. The final fight scene is the best part of the movie through. Really nicely done and down and dirty.
Friday B-Movie Pick: Eraser
We’re keeping the Schwarzenegger action movie theme rolling with the 1996 flick, Eraser. The plot is about…ok, let us be honest here, the plot isn’t the cornerstone of this movie. It’s an Arnold Schwarzenegger action movie for crying out loud. It’s about the action. That isn’t to say this movie doesn’t have a great cast, and I’m just not talking about Vanessa Villiams role as ‘damsel in distress’/eye candy. Nope, serious acting chops in this one, with James Caan and James Coburn topping the list. James Cromwell and Robert Pastorelli are also raising the acting bar on this film. Hands down, James Caan has the best line in the movie, “I can’t believe you nailed me with this cheap piece of mail-order shit!”, which he delivers after Arnold’s character stabs him with a belt buckle knife.
Friday B-Movie Pick: Total Recall
Let us set the WayBack Machine to 1990, when Arnold Schwarzenegger ruled the action movie kingdom. Total Recall draws its SciFi roots from the Phillip K. Dick short story, “We Can Remember It for You Wholesale.” From there, it jams the action meter up to 11. The special effects were ground breaking and Oscar winning for the time. With the remake coming out this summer, take the time to check out the original film. Oh, and take the time to read some Phillip K. Dick as well.