Friday B-Movie Pick: Speed
Let’s set the Wayback Machine to 1994 and visit the movie that helped two young actors on their way to movie stardom. Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock. It has some other fine actors as well, including Dennis Hopper and Jeff Daniels. Hopper plays a bitter former bomb squad cop out to feather his retirement nest by threating to blow stuff, and people up. His first attempt is thwarted by two LA cops played by Daniels and Reeves. So he tries a again, rigging a city bus to explode if it goes under 50 MPH. Sandra Bullock just happened to be on the wrong bus and ends up behind the wheel as Reeves plays a battle of wits against man who wants “his money” and Reeves dead. Definately worth the popcorn, so sit back and enjoy “Die Hard on a bus.” Since this is Valentines day, I’ll throw in a spoiler, the two young leads end up together at the end. Which of course lead to a sequel.
Friday B-Movie Pick: Cleopatra
Cleopatra
The Ceil B. DeMille version starting Claudette Colbert, which earned five Academy Award nominations. This was back in 1934, when you got the awards for merit, so definitely worth checking out. This was a major production back then, and I prefer it to the 1963 version.
Friday B-Movie Pick: Samurai Cop
This classic from 1991 has the Joe Bob Briggs seal of approval. It’s got gun fu, sword fu, and kung fu. There is also plenty of gratuitous nudity. The production values make you long for the high quality of Dolemite. This is a movie with aspirations of being a B-Movie, which made it so fun to watch. One plus is Gerald Okamura, he raised the value of the acting and the martial ars scenes. In the days of the local video store, it would have been well worth the rental. Check it out.
Friday B-Movie Pick Archive
Friday B-Movie Pick: Goncharov
The 1973 Martin Scorsese classic gangster movie with an all star cast. Al Pacino, Cybil Shepard, Gene Hackman, Robert DeNiro, and Harvey Keitel. Set in Naples, it has male and female homoerotic sub stories, but is primarily the story of a Moscow hitman who ‘retires’ to Naples to run a nightclub.
What? You say you have never heard of Goncharov? Really?…That is probably because the movie was never made. It was an Internet inside joke (i.e. a meme) from an obscure social media site. Legend has it that someone bought some “off brand” boots, and the label mentioned the 1973 Scorsese movie Goncharov. The nerds ran with it and came up with outline of a plot, a cast, and other details of the film. It got enough traction what Scorsese got in on the joke with a November 2022 tweet: “While Goncharov (1973) never got its full debut like I wanted, it warms my heart to see the younger generations embracing my film, and what it could have been. Seeing it trending gives me a special happiness that I cannot describe.”
Friday B-Movie Pick: Dolemite
Dolemite
Let’s start the year off right with a classic B-Movie from 1975. Rudy Ray Moore didn’t know anything about making movies, but he knew he wanted to make one. It was the way to promote his act to the world. The result was B-Movie magic. I don’t know if Joe Bob Briggs ever reviewed this movie, but I think he would have liked it. It has comedy, action, karate hookers, dancing, breasts, music, corrupt California politicians, and bad cops getting busted. Check it out.
Friday B-Movie Pick: John Wick 2
Keanu Reeves is back John Wick in another cautionary tale. When you force an assassin known for his focus and strength of will, even among other assassins, to kill your sister, don’t then put a contract on him for killing your sister. This may tend to make him cranky, and when John Wick gets cranky, people die! Seriously, a lot of people. Mostly other assassins trying to collect the bounty on Wick’s head, but a ridiculous amount of henchmen of the guy who put the contract out. He even kills two guys in a bar with a pencil. In a fun bit of uber-violence mixed with with bits of dialog by some really good actors (like Ian McShane and Laurence Fishburne, but not Ruby Rose, who plays a mute assassin). Fire up the popcorn and enjoy.
Friday B-Movie Pick: I love you Alice B. Toklas
I Love You Alice B. Toklas
Setting the Wayback Machine to 1968 for this Peter Sellers film. He plays an uptight lawyer, what the kids called a “Square” back then. He manages to get a hippy girlfriend, who whips up some pot laced brownies, a favorite recipe of a close and personal friend of Gertrude Stein. Sellers’ character eats them and decides “drop out” and become a hippy. A definite period piece comedy.
Friday B-Movie Pick: Doctor Detroit
Doctor Detroit
Setting the Wayback Machine to 1983 for this Dan Aykroyd comedy gem. You might recognize Howard Hesseman and Fran Drescher. Drescher plays one of four high end “Ladies of the Evening” run by pimp Howard Hesseman. He gets into trouble for not paying off the local crime boss, Mom. He cons Aykroyd, who plays a young college professor, into taking over his job. He creates the persona of “Doctor Detroit” to save the day. Light fun, with decidedly adult humor.
Friday B-Movie Picks: Halloween Edition
It’s nearly Halloween, so going with some classics. Starting with Mel Brooks’ classic Young Frankenstein. Followed by the Brendon Frazier version of The Mummy. We’ll end this years picks on a darker note with a tail of vampires in the American Southwest in late 20th century, Near Dark.
Friday B-Movie Pick: Blade: Trinity
Blade: Trinity
Long before the Black Panther movie, there was the Blade Trilogy staring Wesley Snipes. A series based on the Marvel’s Blade character. A half breed Vampire, who can withstand sunlight, thus the nickname, “Day Walker.” Watch the first one, ignore the second, and then enjoy the 2004 trilogy wrap up. The third and final Blade film, and a good B-Movie to boot. Not only is Snipes a cold, hard, bad-ass in this movie (as he is in all the Blade films), the director made some interesting casting choices. Blade is assisted in this film by two other Vampire Hunters, played by Ryan Reynolds, and Jessica Biel. My take on Reynolds character is this could have been a post college Van Wilder who made some really bad life choices. Jessica Biel doesn’t talk much, but seriously, she doesn’t have to. Comninic Purcell is the chief bad guy, but supporting villains played by Parker Posey and John Michael Higgins just add moments of joy for anyone who has seen Best in Show or A Mighty Wind. Parker Posey even has a nice serious dramatic scene. There is even an actress best known for her work in the American Pie movies. I kept waiting for her to talk about double clicking her mouse. Fire up the popcorn and enjoy.