Step 10 of 12: Eat a hamburger
If God didn’t intend for us to eat animals, he wouldn’t have made them out of meat. You can put your sprouts and tofu on the hamburger, but get some meat into you. You’ll look and feel better than you ever imagined. You can always remind yourself that Nazi propaganda hailed Adolf Hitler as a vegetarian to get you through this step.
Editorial note: If you believe in evolution, then you should be eating meat along with your veggies. Science points out that man evolved as an omnivore. If you are a denying that part of your evolutionary heritage, then don’t get upset when an Homo sapiens points out your “anti-science” habits.