“Californian to Texan” translation guide.
Doug Ross put together this handy translation guide because of the large number of jobs leaving California and relocating to Texas.
| CALIFORNIA | TEXAS |
| Arsenal of Weapons | Gun Collection |
| Delicate Wetlands | Swamp |
| Undocumented Worker | Illegal Alien |
| Cruelty-Free Materials | Synthetic Fiber |
| Assault and Battery | Attitude Adjustment |
| Heavily Armed | Well-protected |
| Narrow-minded | Righteous |
| Taxes or Your Fair Share | Coerced Theft |
| Commonsense Gun Control | Gun Confiscation Plot |
| Illegal Hazardous Explosives | Fireworks for Stump Removal |
| Nonviable Tissue Mass | Unborn Baby |
| Equal Access to Opportunity | Socialism |
| Multicultural Community | High Crime Area |
| Fairness or Social Progress | Marxism |
| Upper Class or “The Rich “ | Self-Employed |
| Progressive, Change | Big Government Scheme |
| Homeless or Disadvantaged | Bums or Welfare Leeches |
| Sniper Rifle | Scoped Deer Rifle |
| Investment For the Future | Higher Taxes |
| Healthcare Reform | Socialized Medicine |
| Extremist, Judgmental, or Hater | Conservative |
| Truants | Homeschoolers |
| Victim or Oppressed | Criminal or Lazy Good-For-Nothing |
| High Capacity Magazine | Standard Capacity Magazine |
| Religious Zealot | Church-going |
| Reintroduced Wolves | Sheep and Deer Killers |
| Fair Trade Coffee | Overpriced Yuppie Coffee |
| Exploiters or “The Rich “ | Employed or Land Owner |
| The Gun Lobby | NRA Members |
| Assault Weapon | Semi-Auto (Grandpa’s M1 Carbine) |
| Fiscal Stimulus | New Taxes and Higher Taxes |
| Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting | Chinese Mercury-Laden Light Bulbs |
Comments
Tell me what you're thinking...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!