Friday B-Movie Pick: The Three Musketeers
I saw the 2011 version of this classic tale last weekend, and I have a love/hate relationship with this movie. In some ways it was great Three Musketeers movie. The locations, the costumes, and the sword work was top notch. There was some brillant casting this movie as well. Notably Ray Stevenson as Porthos and Christoph Waltz as the Cardinal. James Corden as the servant Planchet was also a fine bit of casting. He really did well as the comic relief in the film.
Then there were parts that were not anywhere near the original story, not that Dumas probably wouldn’t have like them. Namely the wetsuit, used for stealthy approaches under the water of Venician canals, and the airships. Not Zeppelins, but period warships with big cigar shaped hot air ballons that allowed them to fly in a way that physics would not let them do. Oh, did I mention the really good special effects and green screen work? In case you missed this flick in the three weeks it was on the big screen, it was shot in 3D, by the director of the 3D Resident Evil movie. Said directory is married to Milla Jovovich, who was in this movie as well, playing the villainess, Milady De Winter. She was actually really good as the devious Lady of mystery, intrigue and all around femme fatale spy. The Resident Evil style stunts and fight scenes were a bit over the top though. Ya, it was cool watching her take out a half dozen Palace guards in full period dress, giant skirt and all. It just might have been cooler for Jovovich to have done the role without the stunts she is famous for. The rest of her performance in the film certainly gave the impression that she could have pulled it off quite nicely.
In all, a fine bit of B-Movie for an evening home with flatscreen and popcorn.
Friday B-Movie Pick: Scoop
Woody Allen’s latest movie. I was a bit hestitant about watching this after the horribly bad Curse of the Jade Scorpion, but I figured at worst, Scarlett Johansson might provide some decent eye candy, which she does BTW. I was pleasantly surprised that this flick was much better than the last effort I saw by the Woodman, but then that bar wasn’t set very high. At least he didn’t cast himself as the romantic lead in this one, instead taking the role of the helpful elder, sort like your goofy uncle who alway avoided those ‘respectible’ jobs. Hugh Jackman supplies the eye candy for those who aren’t into curvy blonde females. You won’t be studying this one in film school, unless you are doing a theis on Woody Allen, but this one was worth the rental and home made popcorn.
Friday B-Movie Pick: The Warrior Way
Cowboys and Ninjas. Hell ya! Good cast, lots of action, including much, much sword fu, knife fu and gun fu. Plus a seriously bad bad guy. Worth the popcorn.
Sunday SciFi: John Carter
Saw John Carter last night, in 3D on an IMax screen.
Excellent adventure flick by one of the early masters of the genre, Edgar Rice Burroughs. It was based on the first of the John Carter of Mars books, A Princess of Mars. It was written 95 years ago (1917), so it’s in the public domain. You can download it from the Gutenberg site or get the Kindle version for free.
The show was completely sold out and the audience was a mix of young and old, including a lot of families. Glad I saw on the big screen.
Update: Ed Morrissey reviewed John Carter and gave it a thumbs up as well.
John Carter has plenty of surprises and edge-of-the-seat action all the way to the very end. It won’t win a nomination for Best Picture, but as a fun adventure and popcorn movie, it’s terrific and smarter than most, especially this time of year. Don’t be surprised at the end if you’d like another trip to Mars very soon.
John Carter is rated PG-13, with a lot of violence, some of it quite bloody (even if the blood might be another color at times) and very intense. It has no foul language or nudity — a few skimpy outfits for Collins, but nothing one wouldn’t have seen on a Xena: Warrior Princess episode.
Friday B-Movie Pick: Navy SEALs
This movie was made in 1990, back when Hollywood wasn’t afraid to have Muslim terrorists be the bad guys. Charlie Sheen pulled off what was a badly written character as well as it could be expected. It was Michael Biehn who really shined in this film though. This was the first of at least three times he play a Navy SEAL. A good action flick where the bad guys get shot, stabbed, drown and blown up. Think of it as low budget way to get ready for Act of Valor, which is current playing in theaters and has real Navy SEALs playing the Navy SEALs. It also has Muslim terrorists as bad guy, which bucks the trend Hollywood has been following. A trend that has resulted in movies that suck and don’t make much money.
Friday B-Movie Pick: Digital Assassin
Way back when, I was working on some of the first commercial grade digital movie servers. One of our customers was a large pay for view service, so as part of the testing process, I had to watch a lot of B-Movies. This turkey was one of them. It has since be released under a new name, probably in an attempt to get anybody to watch it who wasn’t required to, like I was. So if you run across Cyberjack, same movie. Makes your typical B-Movie look like a snooty art film. Quick summary, Michael Dudikoff plays an alcoholic ex-cop haunted by the criminal who killed his partner. He is currently working as the alcoholic janitor of a high tech research facility that produces sophisticated computer viruses. The facility is taken over by a criminal gang lead by, yup, you guessed it, the same criminal who haunts the janitor’s cheap booze soaked nightmares. The drunken janitor must face his fears and remember all the training in close quarters urban combat with assault rifles that he learned as a rookie street cop and save the day. Brion James plays the criminal in question and delivers the best acting in the movie. The only other notable part of the movie was Suki Kaiser, providing good eye candy as the beautiful and brilliant Dr. Alex Royce.
If there were still Drive-In movie theaters in numbers enough to matter, this would be the second feature that you ignore in order to have cramped car sex with your date.
Friday B-Movie Pick: Hanna
A modern spy thriller with a nice Cold War feel to it. Good cast, great action and visually pleasing. Fire up the popcorn and enjoy.
Friday B-Movie Pick: Jonah Hex
I caught most of this turkey on cable and oh, it was sooooo bad. Bad acting, bad scrip and Megan Fox. Even a dial in performance by John Malkovich (and a Malkovich dial in is still pretty good) couldn’t help this truely bad film. OK, decent special effects, but a bad film none the less.
Friday B-Movie Pick: Colossus – The Forbin Project
HT to my friend John for reminding me of this Cold War era classic. A 1969 spin on the classic Frankenstein story, except this time it’s with highly “intelligent” super computers running the nuclear arsenals of both the United States and the Soviet Union.
Another Edition of Dungeons and Dragons is in the works
Here is the executive summary. The 4th Edition rules were a bad business decision and resulted in decrease in market share.
This new edition is supposed to be a return to their “roots” in a effort to win back their core fan base.
For more details, try Ace’s take on the Forbes story.
HT to Mr. Reynolds, and oh BTW, there have been several Traveller movies. Namely Serenity and Dark Star.
Marc Miller and Loren Wiseman never made a dime off those however.