{"id":3651,"date":"2012-08-13T22:30:33","date_gmt":"2012-08-14T02:30:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.urbin.net\/blog\/?p=3651"},"modified":"2012-08-13T22:30:33","modified_gmt":"2012-08-14T02:30:33","slug":"the-onion-nails-the-lefts-bed-wetting-fear-of-rep-paul-ryan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/urbin.net\/blog\/politics\/the-onion-nails-the-lefts-bed-wetting-fear-of-rep-paul-ryan\/","title":{"rendered":"The Onion nails the left&#8217;s bed wetting fear of Rep. Paul Ryan"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.theonion.com\/articles\/admit-it-i-scare-the-everloving-shit-out-of-you-do,29160\/\">The Onion posts a \u201cLetter from Rep. Ryan to the left.\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Admit It, I Scare The Ever-Loving Shit Out Of You, Don\u2019t I? By Paul Ryan Candidate for Vice President of the United States August 13, 2012 | ISSUE 48\u202233<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<blockquote><p>When Mitt Romney selected me as his running mate, I knew the Democratic attack dogs would come out in full force\u2026. But if we\u2019re being honest with each other\u2014if we\u2019re able to put aside the talking points for a few minutes and say what we\u2019re all actually thinking and feeling\u2014I believe we can acknowledge the real truth here.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<blockquote><p>I\u2019m young, I\u2019m handsome, I\u2019m smart, and I\u2019m articulate. And that scares the ever-loving shit out of you. You can pretend like you have this thing in the bag, but you know good goddamn well that this race just got real interesting, real fast.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<blockquote><p>It\u2019s okay to admit it. You\u2019re frightened to death of me. It might actually be healthy for you to face your fears now rather than later, when Mitt and I are leading by a few points in the polls and it looks like this thing might end badly for you. Face it: I\u2019m not some catastrophe waiting to happen, like a Sarah Palin or a Dan Quayle. On the contrary, you have the exact opposite fear. I\u2019m a solid, competent, some might say exceptional, politician.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<blockquote><p>Did you get nervous when you read that last sentence? Is it because you know in your heart of hearts that it\u2019s 100 percent true? Is it because, even if you strongly disagree with my beliefs on Medicare, Social Security, women\u2019s rights, and marriage equality, you know my talent as a speaker and my well-thought-out approach to these issues\u2014no matter how radical and convoluted you find them\u2014might just be enough to win over independent voters?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<blockquote><p>Do you get chills just thinking about how strong my appeal actually is?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/ace.mu.nu\/archives\/331894.php\">HT to Ace<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Onion posts a \u201cLetter from Rep. Ryan to the left.\u201d Admit It, I Scare The Ever-Loving Shit Out Of You, Don\u2019t I? By Paul Ryan Candidate for Vice President of the United States August 13, 2012 | ISSUE 48\u202233 When Mitt Romney selected me as his running mate, I knew the Democratic attack dogs [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_themeisle_gutenberg_block_has_review":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[19],"tags":[65,597,621],"class_list":["post-3651","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-politics","tag-2012-election","tag-paul-ryan","tag-politics"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pab4zg-WT","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/urbin.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3651","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/urbin.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/urbin.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/urbin.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/urbin.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3651"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/urbin.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3651\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/urbin.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3651"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/urbin.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3651"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/urbin.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3651"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}