{"id":3243,"date":"2012-03-27T07:29:16","date_gmt":"2012-03-27T11:29:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.urbin.net\/blog\/?p=3243"},"modified":"2012-03-27T07:29:16","modified_gmt":"2012-03-27T11:29:16","slug":"californian-to-texan-translation-guide","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/urbin.net\/blog\/humor\/californian-to-texan-translation-guide\/","title":{"rendered":"“Californian to Texan” translation guide."},"content":{"rendered":"

Doug Ross<\/a> put together this handy translation guide because of the large number of jobs leaving California and relocating to Texas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<\/colgroup>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
CALIFORNIA<\/td>\nTEXAS<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Arsenal of Weapons<\/td>\nGun Collection<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Delicate Wetlands<\/td>\nSwamp<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Undocumented Worker<\/td>\nIllegal Alien<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Cruelty-Free Materials<\/td>\nSynthetic Fiber<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Assault and Battery<\/td>\nAttitude Adjustment<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Heavily Armed<\/td>\nWell-protected<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Narrow-minded<\/td>\nRighteous<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Taxes or Your Fair Share<\/td>\nCoerced Theft<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Commonsense Gun Control<\/td>\nGun Confiscation Plot<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Illegal Hazardous Explosives<\/td>\nFireworks for Stump Removal<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Nonviable Tissue Mass<\/td>\nUnborn Baby<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Equal Access to Opportunity<\/td>\nSocialism<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Multicultural Community<\/td>\nHigh Crime Area<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Fairness or Social Progress<\/td>\nMarxism<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Upper Class or “The Rich “<\/td>\nSelf-Employed<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Progressive, Change<\/td>\nBig Government Scheme<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Homeless or Disadvantaged<\/td>\nBums or Welfare Leeches<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Sniper Rifle<\/td>\nScoped Deer Rifle<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Investment For the Future<\/td>\nHigher Taxes<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Healthcare Reform<\/td>\nSocialized Medicine<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Extremist, Judgmental, or Hater<\/td>\nConservative<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Truants<\/td>\nHomeschoolers<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Victim or Oppressed<\/td>\nCriminal or Lazy Good-For-Nothing<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
High Capacity Magazine<\/td>\nStandard Capacity Magazine<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Religious Zealot<\/td>\nChurch-going<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Reintroduced Wolves<\/td>\nSheep and Deer Killers<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Fair Trade Coffee<\/td>\nOverpriced Yuppie Coffee<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Exploiters or “The Rich “<\/td>\nEmployed or Land Owner<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
The Gun Lobby<\/td>\nNRA Members<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Assault Weapon<\/td>\nSemi-Auto (Grandpa’s M1 Carbine)<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Fiscal Stimulus<\/td>\nNew Taxes and Higher Taxes<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting<\/td>\nChinese Mercury-Laden Light Bulbs<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

HT to AoSHQ<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Doug Ross put together this handy translation guide because of the large number of jobs leaving California and relocating to Texas. CALIFORNIA TEXAS Arsenal of Weapons Gun Collection Delicate Wetlands Swamp Undocumented Worker Illegal Alien Cruelty-Free Materials Synthetic Fiber Assault and Battery Attitude Adjustment Heavily Armed Well-protected Narrow-minded Righteous Taxes or Your Fair Share Coerced […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_themeisle_gutenberg_block_has_review":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[11,19],"tags":[181,408,621,765],"class_list":["post-3243","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","category-politics","tag-california","tag-humor","tag-politics","tag-texas"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pab4zg-Qj","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/urbin.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3243","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/urbin.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/urbin.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/urbin.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/urbin.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3243"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/urbin.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3243\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/urbin.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3243"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/urbin.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3243"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/urbin.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3243"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}